Naziana – it’s a great place to be a bigot!
Yes, the Nazianans had to change the name of their State. It used to be known as ‘Indiana’ but sadly, no longer. The Nazianans have fully embraced a “final solution” for gays, lesbians, the gender-bended, Mexicans, liberals, AND anyone that hasn’t the decency to drag their sorry asses to a church of Naziana choice. Gov. Mike Pence (Bigot – Naziana) will determine what is the “official” church of Naziana at a future date. Evidently Pence is leaning towards the First Church of Evangelical Gender Stratification but the “Gov” is open to suggestions.
Gov. Pence also expressed his extreme displeasure with media jokes about French Lick, Indiana. Pence maintains it’s wholly inappropriate to ask Larry Bird to stick out his tongue.
Coincidentally, Naziana had to change their “official” state motto. Whereas Indiana USED to be known as “The Crossroads of America”, well, now Naziana will be formally known as “The Place Where You’d Better Be Heterosexually Straight, White, and We’ll Accept No Substitutes.”
Curiously, the NCAA was asked about Naziana’s sudden shift to seething hostility, bigotry, homophobia, and would that shift affect NCAA basketball tournament profitability. The NCAA responded with, “no NCAA students, athletes, or semi-pro basketball players are gay. We know that to be true and so should you. Where’s the problem?”
The NFL issued a one line statement on Naziana’s current polarization due to intolerant bigotry and the Office of Commissioner Roger ‘backdoor’ Goodell stated, “we’re dealing with NFL players beating their wives and girlfriends and we’re simply not ready to address gender affiliation unless there’s some serious money at issue.”
Be sure to purchase your tickets for the Brickyard Pole Position 500 early. There may be some unforeseen ‘seating’ issues and buying tickets early could help the race organizers deal with any public backlash vis-à-vis bigotry.