this is just the beginning

There are 20 candidates from the two political parties running for POTUS. 15 Republicans and 5 Democrats.

19 of the declared candidates aren’t worth a piss.

Nominating conventions for the two political parties won’t happen until summer 2016. Hmmm, that’s exactly one year away.

Wholly tedious banality.

Billions of dollars will have been raised and squandered. That’s just to get a nomination. Gosh, that’s obscene. Billions of dollars could help educate real American children.

Oh gosh and what am I thinking? American children hardly matter when a presidential election cycle rears it’s hideous head.

I think I have a solution that just might work –

Cage match!

Put every last candidate running for the office of POTUS inside a wrestling cage and let them have at it.

You know how when it’s a big deal Vince McMahon production and a cage gets lowered around a wrestling squared circle? Yup. Throw in chairs and a ladder or two, a podium, sledgehammer, knives, a chainsaw, at least one midget, several million dollars in loose cash, and Stone Cold Steve Austin as referee. No holds barred and NO RULES. Whomever two candidates manage to crawl from the cage as Stone Cold declares ‘victory’, well, that’s who gets to continue a run for office.

It would be worth the price of admission to watch Scott Walker slam Donny the Trump upside the head with a steel chair. See Hillary the Mrs. Bubba chainsaw Jeb Bush! Vince would make more money than he ever dreamed possible. Bret the Hitman could make a ringside appearance. There would be the Undertaker, Hulk ‘chokin’ Hogan, at least 25 guys that on any ordinary day would be consider to be solar eclipses on account of they blot out the sun, and Eddie Guerrero’s widow all at ringside.

Money money money!

Isn’t that what this fucking exercise in utter futility is all about? America could quit the pretense and enjoy real political/sports entertainment.

I want to see Ben Carson put the full ladder body slam on Rick ‘inner’ Santorum.

Political wrasslin, it’s right for our postmodern global war of terrorism world.


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