you can’t fix stupid part two

A 43-year-old Mississippi woman visiting Yellowstone National Park decided it’d be a really good idea to take a selfie with a bison that was just standing there. About six yards distance.

It should be noted that the American bison, or buffalo, is one freakishly large animal. About the size of a luxury freezer. A bison can move faster than any human on the Planet can get out of it’s way. Bison are notorious for having an in general bad attitude. They’re bison and they can do that. They’re bison and they OWN Yellowstone National Park. Oh yes they do.

Anyway, the dumb ass woman from Mississippi got to experience Yellowstone National Park up close and personal. You see, bison really don’t like having their pictures taken without giving permission first. It is advisable to ask any bison’s permission before attempting any selfie. Of course one does take considerable risk by asking a bison it’s opinion on any given subject.

Here is the link to one screamingly funny vacation adventure –

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/wireStory/bison-injures-woman-posing-selfie-yellowstone-32626458

You see, the Mississippi tourista was warned by any number of people standing sort of close to where the woman was being stupid and given that the Park location of bison incident was very near Old Faithful, well, you just had to know things would turn out badly.

Things did turn out quite badly for Mississippi tourista. Mississippi tourista got to experience being launched into space by bison. Being launched into space by bison is completely different than being launched into space by NASA or, oh say, the Russians.

You see the Russians can still launch people into space and NASA, well, can’t.

The Mississippi tourista survived being launched into space by bison. Which with all things being considered, the woman is damn lucky. Bison tend to finish off their launches of any human with aforementioned human being trampled by one pissed off bison.

One time the wife and myself were driving a fine Yellowstone National Park road and there’s this bull bison walking down the middle of the road we were driving along. The bison was not about to surrender his share of the middle of the road. It is his National Park by the by. Anyway, I slow crawl our CRV to the far right side of one narrow Yellowstone road and creep very slowly past Mr. Buffalo. As we drive by and I’ve got the window down so I can capture the buffalo with the Nikon, well, the bison is giving me the bison evil eye. I mean, I’m in the CRV and looking this bison square in the eye. At this point I’m having second and then third thoughts about having the window down. Goddamn those animals are huge. Our close encounter of the buffalo kind passed without incident. Lucky me. As for the dummy from Mississippi taking selfies of bison in the Old Faithful basin, the woman will probably never forget her vacation to Yellowstone. Or her encounter with the bison. She’ll be picking bison hair out of her ass for months.

Don’t do it people. While in Yellowstone National Park, respect the flora and the fauna. The Yellowstone fauna can literally kill you or leave you praying for death on a good day. Yellowstone National Park is NOT a petting zoo. Yellowstone National Park is wild America the way wild America was meant to be.

I would have loved to see the bison give Mississippi tourista lady the pitch. After all, pictures are worth a thousand words. In the very least, a hearty laugh for sure.

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2 thoughts on “you can’t fix stupid part two

  1. Great post. Well said, it is their home, not ours. People are so very dumb – this woman being a prime example of an utter moron. I’m glad you didn’t get poked at by the one in the road! I’d love to see one in the flesh…from a VERY safe distance.

    – s.u.t.Cloud

    Like

    • We got to see the bulls in rut one late September afternoon and the two biggest were squared off and ramming one another seriously. They were about three hundred yards distant and the sound of these boys smacking one another was amazing.

      Liked by 1 person

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